I had a break through this morning during meditation. This week the theme has been "Equanimity", which means evenness of mind especially under stress; right disposition; balance. If you know me you will know I am always busy doing something; Everything from being a wife and parent and everything that implies, to artist, to yoga teacher, to volunteer and the list goes on and on....
Anyway I finally figured out this morning that staying still, or better yet not having anything "Due" causes me stress. I have always known I am a stress eater but could never figure it out. You see the busier I was eating wasn't a problem. But when things slowed down I would eat everything even when I wasn't hungry. Sure I would blame it on PMS, hormones, or maybe it might have been blamed on something I was obsessing over. The fact of the matter sitting still was hard and to avoid being uncomfortable with myself I masked it with food. This is what I was able to uncover and learn about myself this morning during my meditation.
This bit of knowledge is embarrassing for me to admit. It feels like failure but on the other hand I am as human as the next person and I need to take my own advice and let it go. Admitting it is the first step in fixing it I do believe.
So here is to sitting still and being comfortable with that. And funny as it sounds, this yoga teacher needs to learn to relax!
Have a peaceful day and enjoy.
Namaste.
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